I feel so blessed right now to have my eyes opened to the tender mercies that have been given me along this path. Looking back now, I realize the timing of discovering our loss was the best it could have been. I probably would have known about a week sooner. However, because scheduling didn't work out for an extra appointment then, we ended up finding out just two days after a beautiful temple visit. We had not been to the temple in probably six months, and things completely fell into place for us to go just the Saturday before we learned of the miscarriage. The temple teaches us amazing things about our purpose here on earth and I was so grateful to have been given that greater perspective once again before facing this great challenge. I didn't realize in that temple session how much I would cling to that peace in the coming days, but now, I am so grateful that the Lord saw fit to prepare me spiritually.
I think most people experience ups and downs when they are grieving, and I have been no different. But in the midst of a very down morning yesterday, I received an email from a good friend who had also experienced a missed miscarriage. Her words were exactly what I needed to hear, and the insights she shared that she gained from her own experience reminded me that I can and SHOULD seek answers to my questions. I know much of the answers will require time and effort on my part to study, ponder, and commune with God, and some questions may not have specific answers for me until after this life. But one thing I have come to realize is that creating a child is a team effort which involves God. I always knew that pregnancy and birth were a miracle, but this experience has helped me see more poignantly that when women bring children into the world through their wombs, they are partnered with God in bringing about his eternal purposes. He does have a say in the timing of it, and I received the impression last night that we are to involve Him and seek His counsel in the decisions we make regarding our family.
I really wonder how much I should share regarding this. Part of me wants to be open and honest because I feel like miscarriage is almost taboo and you don't realize how many around you have experienced it until you go through it yourself. They come out of the woodwork. And I also feel like the light I've received could be so helpful to other women in a similar situation, or their family members who are struggling with the loss. But something tells me that the answers are for me right now, and maybe at some future point I will feel impressed to share them with some specific person. So I will just share this: I do know that God is aware of us. He prepares the way for us to accomplish the things which He asks us to do. He knows some things will be hard--not because He GIVES us hard things, but because we live in a world where bad things happen. But I do believe He aches for our heartaches just as any parent feels when they watch a child get hurt or struggle. And so He provides tender mercies along the way to encourage us to keep going, and to help us know we are not alone.
Friday, February 14, 2014
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Waiting for Our Baby
We found out yesterday the sad news that Baby #2 will not be joining our family at this time. I feel like writing about the experience will be therapeutic for me, but I also hope that in sharing some of what I learned, I might help other moms better understand this process, or friends and family who have never experienced this themselves, might also understand. It's not what I had pictured.
To begin, I'm pretty sure I'm 13-14 weeks along in the pregnancy. However, at my first appointment, where I thought I would be about 12 (two weeks ago), we couldn't find a heartbeat. My midwife said I was measuring smaller, so we just assumed I was wrong on my dates. I had been pretty unsure so I tried not to worry.
My midwife invited me back to look for the heartbeat so I went back in on Monday of this week. Most of this time, I've had some sort of sense that the baby wasn't there. I don't know if that's just because I still hadn't heard a heartbeat (which is kind of the reality check for early pregnancy), or if I genuinely sensed the loss. I did worry that maybe the baby wasn't developing correctly and there would be some sort of issues or handicap, but I think every pregnant woman has those concerns. But I still thought that if I was going to miscarry, I would just suddenly bleed. I don't think I had ever heard that the baby could just stay in there, dead.
With a significant reduction in my pregnancy symptoms, I decided I better go check for the heartbeat again. I was pretty sure I had to be at least 10 weeks by now. We still couldn't find a heartbeat. My midwife tried to stay positive and sent me to get an ultrasound to "check my dates and size" but knowing that midwives are pretty good at finding heartbeats, I was pretty sure there wasn't one.
When I scheduled the ultrasound, I said that we were "checking size and dates," but after explaining the situation, the receptionist said it was a "diagnosis". That confirmed my belief that my midwife was just trying to stay positive.
Dustin told me to wait until it was confirmed so I wouldn't stress for no reason, but I just had to understand what I was possibly and quite likely heading into. So I began to research miscarriage online. I quickly discovered that it's quite common (most sites say 10-25% of pregnancies and some even said 30%), but there were plenty stories of moms in my situation, where they knew the baby had passed, but they were still waiting for their body to abort it.
That is the hardest part I think. I know it will probably be harder to actually pass the baby, but right now, it's hard to be waiting. My midwife called it being pregnant when you know you are not and saying goodbye before you get to say hello.
I always thought that I would be okay with a miscarriage because they usually happen so early, you almost don't feel like you are pregnant yet. I imagined that I would just understand that that body wasn't going to work and so either that spirit is coming later, or we will meet him in the Millennium. And although I do understand that, I can't help but feel the loss for now. Before I had my ultrasound yesterday, I chose to still attend my ballet class. The teacher played a beautiful song for plies--she called it a lullaby. I might have held it together had she not used that specific word. But where dancing has always been a special emotional place for me, and the lullaby was so beautiful, I became overwhelmed with the thoughts that I'm not going to get to hold this baby. I'm not going to sing him to sleep.
It was an important lesson for me. Although I hate to openly admit it, getting pregnant is always a push-pull for me. As a dancer, I sense a bit of loss having to take to the sidelines, and even though having Corbin (my first) has already taught me that there can be no greater joy, I still entered this pregnancy with the same battle. I had just gotten back into dancing quite regularly, and in some ways, I felt I was in my prime. But I knew there was a time and a season for all things, and having children is a window of opportunity that I don't get back once it is closed. But as I had those thoughts running through my mind during plies, I realized that given the choice between dancing and holding my baby, I will always choose the baby.
Having children is a great blessing, and opposition in all things is the lesson we learn here in this life. I'm grateful for my knowledge of God's plan and for the Atonement of Jesus Christ which will set all things right. The more I've contemplated what I will write in this post, the greatest witness I have felt is that the Atonement of Jesus Christ sets all things right. I remember after I had Corbin, I was amazed by two things: 1. That my mom (and all other mothers) had gone through that really hard experience, and done it AGAIN and again and again, and 2. That if Christ experienced ALL things in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross, he had felt that pain. He always knows our pain, and therefore he can teach us how to handle it in a God-like manner. And thus, through our pains and sorrows, we find the opportunity to become more like Him.
So yes, I am doing okay. It's not that I feel like this baby wasn't a human yet. It's not that I don't feel a loss. I feel blessed to have the family I do have, and I feel blessed to see a bigger picture of our purpose here on earth. I'm calling this post, "Waiting for Our Baby" because I do feel that I will meet him or her at another time.
To begin, I'm pretty sure I'm 13-14 weeks along in the pregnancy. However, at my first appointment, where I thought I would be about 12 (two weeks ago), we couldn't find a heartbeat. My midwife said I was measuring smaller, so we just assumed I was wrong on my dates. I had been pretty unsure so I tried not to worry.
My midwife invited me back to look for the heartbeat so I went back in on Monday of this week. Most of this time, I've had some sort of sense that the baby wasn't there. I don't know if that's just because I still hadn't heard a heartbeat (which is kind of the reality check for early pregnancy), or if I genuinely sensed the loss. I did worry that maybe the baby wasn't developing correctly and there would be some sort of issues or handicap, but I think every pregnant woman has those concerns. But I still thought that if I was going to miscarry, I would just suddenly bleed. I don't think I had ever heard that the baby could just stay in there, dead.
With a significant reduction in my pregnancy symptoms, I decided I better go check for the heartbeat again. I was pretty sure I had to be at least 10 weeks by now. We still couldn't find a heartbeat. My midwife tried to stay positive and sent me to get an ultrasound to "check my dates and size" but knowing that midwives are pretty good at finding heartbeats, I was pretty sure there wasn't one.
When I scheduled the ultrasound, I said that we were "checking size and dates," but after explaining the situation, the receptionist said it was a "diagnosis". That confirmed my belief that my midwife was just trying to stay positive.
Dustin told me to wait until it was confirmed so I wouldn't stress for no reason, but I just had to understand what I was possibly and quite likely heading into. So I began to research miscarriage online. I quickly discovered that it's quite common (most sites say 10-25% of pregnancies and some even said 30%), but there were plenty stories of moms in my situation, where they knew the baby had passed, but they were still waiting for their body to abort it.
That is the hardest part I think. I know it will probably be harder to actually pass the baby, but right now, it's hard to be waiting. My midwife called it being pregnant when you know you are not and saying goodbye before you get to say hello.
I always thought that I would be okay with a miscarriage because they usually happen so early, you almost don't feel like you are pregnant yet. I imagined that I would just understand that that body wasn't going to work and so either that spirit is coming later, or we will meet him in the Millennium. And although I do understand that, I can't help but feel the loss for now. Before I had my ultrasound yesterday, I chose to still attend my ballet class. The teacher played a beautiful song for plies--she called it a lullaby. I might have held it together had she not used that specific word. But where dancing has always been a special emotional place for me, and the lullaby was so beautiful, I became overwhelmed with the thoughts that I'm not going to get to hold this baby. I'm not going to sing him to sleep.
It was an important lesson for me. Although I hate to openly admit it, getting pregnant is always a push-pull for me. As a dancer, I sense a bit of loss having to take to the sidelines, and even though having Corbin (my first) has already taught me that there can be no greater joy, I still entered this pregnancy with the same battle. I had just gotten back into dancing quite regularly, and in some ways, I felt I was in my prime. But I knew there was a time and a season for all things, and having children is a window of opportunity that I don't get back once it is closed. But as I had those thoughts running through my mind during plies, I realized that given the choice between dancing and holding my baby, I will always choose the baby.
Having children is a great blessing, and opposition in all things is the lesson we learn here in this life. I'm grateful for my knowledge of God's plan and for the Atonement of Jesus Christ which will set all things right. The more I've contemplated what I will write in this post, the greatest witness I have felt is that the Atonement of Jesus Christ sets all things right. I remember after I had Corbin, I was amazed by two things: 1. That my mom (and all other mothers) had gone through that really hard experience, and done it AGAIN and again and again, and 2. That if Christ experienced ALL things in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross, he had felt that pain. He always knows our pain, and therefore he can teach us how to handle it in a God-like manner. And thus, through our pains and sorrows, we find the opportunity to become more like Him.
So yes, I am doing okay. It's not that I feel like this baby wasn't a human yet. It's not that I don't feel a loss. I feel blessed to have the family I do have, and I feel blessed to see a bigger picture of our purpose here on earth. I'm calling this post, "Waiting for Our Baby" because I do feel that I will meet him or her at another time.
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
It's Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas!
It only happens every so often in St. George (maybe once a year), but it was especially exciting for me this year because it was Corbin's first experience with SNOW! I took him out first thing this morning (after we got all bundled up of course). Here is the progression of his experience in film:
First, Christmas morning type excitement:
Next discovery: Gloves. But still a little tentative to try it again.
And finally, back to his usual explorational self.
First, Christmas morning type excitement:
Next, he fell on his hands and felt the cold for the first time...and decided snow wasn't so great:
And finally, back to his usual explorational self.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Two Social Media Shares For Which I'm Thankful
Today I am grateful for the powerful tool that social media can be when used appropriately. In an effort to "escape" after my son's bedtime two nights ago, I browsed Facebook and found a blog post my sister had shared about being fully invested in our children's lives. The blogger ended her post with a long list of the reasons she's grateful to be the mom of her kids. Her message to moms was to believe that kids truly do grow up too fast, and they are not a nuisance to be worked around. You can read her words here.
I have to say, I took her counsel to heart and just played with Corbin all morning the next day. You know what happened? Corbin went down for an early nap, which allowed me to still get my things done before I went to work. Normally I fight him and the things all morning and get him down just in time to leave for work, but still feeling like I haven't accomplished anything. I don't think it will always work out that well, but really, why don't I just enjoy him while I have him? There will be time to do laundry after he goes to bed, or when dad gets home, or
next week sometime. No big deal.
That reminds me of a talk I heard in church on Sunday about tithing. I felt like the woman had written it for me. She talked about the promise that the windows of heaven would be open to pour out blessings onto the tithe payer. Then she proceeded to share some of the blessings which she had received including special finds at thrift stores and on clearance racks or in hand-me-downs at just the right time, the ability to decipher between needs and wants, great kids who are okay with thrift stores and hand-me-downs, etc. I know I've received these kinds of blessings and yet, I've never thought of them that way. What does that have to do with cherishing our kids? I think the principle is the same. When I give the Lord my 10%, he makes sure I have my needs met. When I give my children my first hours, my best hours, somehow I have the time I need to get my other things done.
Then I got invited to view this story about Heather who is an 8 year survivor of mesothelioma cancer. I actually had never even heard of this cancer before, but it is caused by asbestos exposure, and it leaves VERY few survivors. You can watch the story by clicking on the link above. Her video is a beautiful invitation to count your own blessings.
Whenever a story like this is shared, I of course am reminded of how fragile life is and the importance of cherishing each day, but I have to say, what I most took from this video was what Heather shares at the beginning. She says that she and her daughter Lilly are best friends. I really do want to get to that place with each of my children, and I realize that it starts by appreciating having them in my life now.
I have to say, I took her counsel to heart and just played with Corbin all morning the next day. You know what happened? Corbin went down for an early nap, which allowed me to still get my things done before I went to work. Normally I fight him and the things all morning and get him down just in time to leave for work, but still feeling like I haven't accomplished anything. I don't think it will always work out that well, but really, why don't I just enjoy him while I have him? There will be time to do laundry after he goes to bed, or when dad gets home, or
next week sometime. No big deal.
That reminds me of a talk I heard in church on Sunday about tithing. I felt like the woman had written it for me. She talked about the promise that the windows of heaven would be open to pour out blessings onto the tithe payer. Then she proceeded to share some of the blessings which she had received including special finds at thrift stores and on clearance racks or in hand-me-downs at just the right time, the ability to decipher between needs and wants, great kids who are okay with thrift stores and hand-me-downs, etc. I know I've received these kinds of blessings and yet, I've never thought of them that way. What does that have to do with cherishing our kids? I think the principle is the same. When I give the Lord my 10%, he makes sure I have my needs met. When I give my children my first hours, my best hours, somehow I have the time I need to get my other things done.
Then I got invited to view this story about Heather who is an 8 year survivor of mesothelioma cancer. I actually had never even heard of this cancer before, but it is caused by asbestos exposure, and it leaves VERY few survivors. You can watch the story by clicking on the link above. Her video is a beautiful invitation to count your own blessings.
Whenever a story like this is shared, I of course am reminded of how fragile life is and the importance of cherishing each day, but I have to say, what I most took from this video was what Heather shares at the beginning. She says that she and her daughter Lilly are best friends. I really do want to get to that place with each of my children, and I realize that it starts by appreciating having them in my life now.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Top 10 Mom Fails
Don't worry...this is not a "Wo is me, I'm a terrible mom" post. It's just that this morning, as I made a last ditch attempt to entertain my toddler by opening up a toy that was supposed to be a Christmas present (today is November 20th and Thanksgiving is more than a week away still), I had to laugh at all the things I do as a mom that I "swore I'd never do."
So here it is. My top ten mom fails--within the first year of being a mom (not in any particular order):
10. Feed child candy. I can't say I swore to never do this, but I definitely have let him have it more often than I thought I would. The reason I'm noticing? I eat it. Dad eats it. So baby of course eats it.
9. Bribe child with candy and other sugary goodness. Justification: How else do you lure him into his carseat without a tantrum?
8. Cry it out. I hung in there for a while, but it suddenly seemed like my going in to comfort or continue my sleep training methods was just setting up a new pattern for habitual waking. He sleeps great now that he has CIO'ed for a couple nights.
7. Wiped his nose with my own finger and then cleaned it off on his pants or mine. I hope this doesn't make me or my child less "popular" among our friends, but really...your own kid's snot isn't gross, well, at least not AS gross as the other kids'.
6. Wiped his face with my licked finger. After wiping his nose with my hand one day, I knew it was only a matter of time before I cleaned his face with my licked finger. It was an act of desperation, I tell you. Family pictures. Dad was in charge of getting Corbin ready because we met on location after I got off work. Cute outfit. Messy face. No baby wipes in the diaper bag. Oh yes, licked finger to the face. He's young. He won't remember it.
5. Aside from candy, feed child junk food in general. The kid loves hot dogs, and although I knew it wasn't the most healthy of choices, I couldn't resist the easy preparation and quick clean up they provided. So yes, he ate lots of hot dogs over the summer. Seriously, they are the one food that he manages to not drop on the floor. Every last bit makes it to his mouth and swallowed.
4. Cloth diapering is not something I've failed at because I never even tried it. I thought I'd get it going once we were in our house and had our own washer and dryer (we shared with our landlords in our old apartment). Once we were in, I said I'd do it once the house felt more pulled together so I could get a routine going. Since I still feel like my house is not pulled together, and I still feel like I'm barely keeping afloat in our "routine" as it is, I now say, maybe with the next baby.
3. Cleaning up after meals. Or should I say NOT cleaning up meals. This started out great. I was so proud of myself. I ran the vacuum after every meal, and Corbin's high chair tray was always cleaned. There was never a sign that a baby had been eating in that chair. That all changed once he could walk. Once I discovered that while I'm cleaning his breakfast mess, he's unloading the pantry, spilling the macaroni and cheese box on the floor, pulling toilet paper off the shelves, and (and I say "and" because he can get ALL this done JUST in that amount of time) dropping his binky in the toilet, I decided that breakfast mess could wait till nap time. As it turns out, at nap time, sometimes I prefer to blog, nap myself, check Facebook, catch up on work, get ready to go to work, or just sit in peace and quiet for a few minutes, so yes, sometimes breakfast is still on the tray and the floor at lunch...or dinner...or yes, the next day at breakfast.
2. Putting clothes away and general housekeeping. After Corbin was born, we refinished a cute little changing table. I was so proud of my handiwork. I got these little green plastic bins from Dollar Tree and labeled each one with clothing items (shirts, pants, onesies, jammies, etc.) I put the clothes in their assigned buckets on the shelves of the changing table. My sister said it was a great idea because it would help me keep things put away since everything had an assigned spot. I thought I had this organization thing down. And it worked great, till the walking thing changed our world. You know where Corbin's clothes are now? If they make it to the buckets, they are quickly pulled out on to the floor. Hence, most are on top of the changing table in piles resembling folded laundry.
1. I will end with the inspiration for this entire post. Yes, we have had a cute little Fisher Price barn toy "hiding" in our closet for several weeks. I bought it just after Corbin's birthday and we decided he had enough toys so we'd save it for Christmas. We knew he didn't care about Christmas, but we did, so we sort of hid it in our room. He still finds it from time to time and plays with the button that lets you try out the noises while inside the box. This morning, I felt like he was bored with everything in the house, and to be honest, so was I. I couldn't get anything done because he wanted me to entertain him. So I pulled out the barn and we had a great time putting it together, discovering all the neat things it does, and, Merry Christmas to me, he played with it by himself for several minutes after I finished. It was short-lived, and I spent the whole time taking pictures of him playing with it...but it was still fun.
Now, to put it back in the box in the closet so we can surprise him with it again at Christmas.
So here it is. My top ten mom fails--within the first year of being a mom (not in any particular order):
10. Feed child candy. I can't say I swore to never do this, but I definitely have let him have it more often than I thought I would. The reason I'm noticing? I eat it. Dad eats it. So baby of course eats it.
9. Bribe child with candy and other sugary goodness. Justification: How else do you lure him into his carseat without a tantrum?
8. Cry it out. I hung in there for a while, but it suddenly seemed like my going in to comfort or continue my sleep training methods was just setting up a new pattern for habitual waking. He sleeps great now that he has CIO'ed for a couple nights.
7. Wiped his nose with my own finger and then cleaned it off on his pants or mine. I hope this doesn't make me or my child less "popular" among our friends, but really...your own kid's snot isn't gross, well, at least not AS gross as the other kids'.
6. Wiped his face with my licked finger. After wiping his nose with my hand one day, I knew it was only a matter of time before I cleaned his face with my licked finger. It was an act of desperation, I tell you. Family pictures. Dad was in charge of getting Corbin ready because we met on location after I got off work. Cute outfit. Messy face. No baby wipes in the diaper bag. Oh yes, licked finger to the face. He's young. He won't remember it.
5. Aside from candy, feed child junk food in general. The kid loves hot dogs, and although I knew it wasn't the most healthy of choices, I couldn't resist the easy preparation and quick clean up they provided. So yes, he ate lots of hot dogs over the summer. Seriously, they are the one food that he manages to not drop on the floor. Every last bit makes it to his mouth and swallowed.
4. Cloth diapering is not something I've failed at because I never even tried it. I thought I'd get it going once we were in our house and had our own washer and dryer (we shared with our landlords in our old apartment). Once we were in, I said I'd do it once the house felt more pulled together so I could get a routine going. Since I still feel like my house is not pulled together, and I still feel like I'm barely keeping afloat in our "routine" as it is, I now say, maybe with the next baby.
3. Cleaning up after meals. Or should I say NOT cleaning up meals. This started out great. I was so proud of myself. I ran the vacuum after every meal, and Corbin's high chair tray was always cleaned. There was never a sign that a baby had been eating in that chair. That all changed once he could walk. Once I discovered that while I'm cleaning his breakfast mess, he's unloading the pantry, spilling the macaroni and cheese box on the floor, pulling toilet paper off the shelves, and (and I say "and" because he can get ALL this done JUST in that amount of time) dropping his binky in the toilet, I decided that breakfast mess could wait till nap time. As it turns out, at nap time, sometimes I prefer to blog, nap myself, check Facebook, catch up on work, get ready to go to work, or just sit in peace and quiet for a few minutes, so yes, sometimes breakfast is still on the tray and the floor at lunch...or dinner...or yes, the next day at breakfast.
2. Putting clothes away and general housekeeping. After Corbin was born, we refinished a cute little changing table. I was so proud of my handiwork. I got these little green plastic bins from Dollar Tree and labeled each one with clothing items (shirts, pants, onesies, jammies, etc.) I put the clothes in their assigned buckets on the shelves of the changing table. My sister said it was a great idea because it would help me keep things put away since everything had an assigned spot. I thought I had this organization thing down. And it worked great, till the walking thing changed our world. You know where Corbin's clothes are now? If they make it to the buckets, they are quickly pulled out on to the floor. Hence, most are on top of the changing table in piles resembling folded laundry.
1. I will end with the inspiration for this entire post. Yes, we have had a cute little Fisher Price barn toy "hiding" in our closet for several weeks. I bought it just after Corbin's birthday and we decided he had enough toys so we'd save it for Christmas. We knew he didn't care about Christmas, but we did, so we sort of hid it in our room. He still finds it from time to time and plays with the button that lets you try out the noises while inside the box. This morning, I felt like he was bored with everything in the house, and to be honest, so was I. I couldn't get anything done because he wanted me to entertain him. So I pulled out the barn and we had a great time putting it together, discovering all the neat things it does, and, Merry Christmas to me, he played with it by himself for several minutes after I finished. It was short-lived, and I spent the whole time taking pictures of him playing with it...but it was still fun.
Now, to put it back in the box in the closet so we can surprise him with it again at Christmas.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Chatty Kathy
I've noticed that Corbin is talking more and more lately. It's still mostly baby babbles, which I love to hear. The one word that I for sure know he knows and will say pretty much on demand is "Weee" as in "weee" I'm on the swings, or "weee" dad is throwing me in the air. I wondered yesterday if he really has had a true first word. He says "dada" and "mama" occasionally but not really in a way that seems like he associates the word with either of us. So I'm thinking "wee" is his first word. Fitting...
In fact, we had family pictures taken yesterday and we could not get a smile out of him almost the whole time. The only smiles were when we were swinging him in the air holding his hands and when he was running around by himself. The photographer called him a thrill seeker, and that's what made me realize that yes, "wee" is his first word.
He LOVES the swings and will say "wee" the whole time he's on them. He definitely liked a lot of motion as a baby, and we always blamed that on the fact that I danced through my whole pregnancy with him. The kid is accustomed to movement and he loves to be on the move.
Anyway, speaking of chatting. Corbin started talking himself to sleep a few months ago (once we sleep trained him), but last night at midnight he woke up and started chatting quite a bit. I was online so I did a quick google search to see if it might be a sign of being under-tired. But I read most people saying that it's normal for babies to want to practice their new skills when they wake up in the night. I'll take it. It's quite fun to listen to chatter over listening to crying.
The problem came when it got quiet, and I THOUGHT he'd fallen back to sleep. I decided to sneak in and turn down the white noise playing in his room. It seemed loud and I wondered if it had woken him up. We just use the static on an empty radio station and so sometimes it randomly picks up some signals and you hear men talking like airplane pilots communicating with the tower. It's pretty funny, except when it's happening and I'm like, "Pilot! Don't you dare wake up my baby!"
Anyway, I snuck in and heard him move. I quickly froze, facing the door, hoping he couldn't see me or smell me or in any way sense I was in his room. Not possible. Although it was pitch black and I couldn't see him, he totally knew I was in there. Stands up and starts to cry so I'll come get him. Game over. So I nursed him and laid him back down and he chatted himself back to sleep. So silly.
And I vowed never to enter the quiet room again. :-)
In fact, we had family pictures taken yesterday and we could not get a smile out of him almost the whole time. The only smiles were when we were swinging him in the air holding his hands and when he was running around by himself. The photographer called him a thrill seeker, and that's what made me realize that yes, "wee" is his first word.
He LOVES the swings and will say "wee" the whole time he's on them. He definitely liked a lot of motion as a baby, and we always blamed that on the fact that I danced through my whole pregnancy with him. The kid is accustomed to movement and he loves to be on the move.
Anyway, speaking of chatting. Corbin started talking himself to sleep a few months ago (once we sleep trained him), but last night at midnight he woke up and started chatting quite a bit. I was online so I did a quick google search to see if it might be a sign of being under-tired. But I read most people saying that it's normal for babies to want to practice their new skills when they wake up in the night. I'll take it. It's quite fun to listen to chatter over listening to crying.
The problem came when it got quiet, and I THOUGHT he'd fallen back to sleep. I decided to sneak in and turn down the white noise playing in his room. It seemed loud and I wondered if it had woken him up. We just use the static on an empty radio station and so sometimes it randomly picks up some signals and you hear men talking like airplane pilots communicating with the tower. It's pretty funny, except when it's happening and I'm like, "Pilot! Don't you dare wake up my baby!"
Anyway, I snuck in and heard him move. I quickly froze, facing the door, hoping he couldn't see me or smell me or in any way sense I was in his room. Not possible. Although it was pitch black and I couldn't see him, he totally knew I was in there. Stands up and starts to cry so I'll come get him. Game over. So I nursed him and laid him back down and he chatted himself back to sleep. So silly.
And I vowed never to enter the quiet room again. :-)
Sunday, November 10, 2013
Random Thoughts about Facebook and Blogging
Started this as a Facebook post, then it got too long, which puts it in the blog post category, as you will see...
After writing two blog posts tonight, I started thinking about the strange things that blogging and social media are. While brushing my teeth, I created these definitions:
Facebook Status: A place for people to broadcast their opinions, unsolicited or not.
Blog: A place for people to expound upon their unsolicited opinions.
Facebook comments: A place for people to counter or agree with the expressed opinion (definitely solicited--after all, you posted it on Facebook).
Facebook Shares: A way of expressing your opinion by posting the link to a blogger who expressed it better than you can.
Two questions:
1. Are we more opinionated now than generations before us, or do we just have more means of expressing our opinions? How did people share their opinions pre-social media?
2. How much of sharing our opinions online actually affects the world around us?
I guess that is three questions. It's getting late. I'm taking my unsolicited opinions to bed now.
After writing two blog posts tonight, I started thinking about the strange things that blogging and social media are. While brushing my teeth, I created these definitions:
Facebook Status: A place for people to broadcast their opinions, unsolicited or not.
Blog: A place for people to expound upon their unsolicited opinions.
Facebook comments: A place for people to counter or agree with the expressed opinion (definitely solicited--after all, you posted it on Facebook).
Facebook Shares: A way of expressing your opinion by posting the link to a blogger who expressed it better than you can.
Two questions:
1. Are we more opinionated now than generations before us, or do we just have more means of expressing our opinions? How did people share their opinions pre-social media?
2. How much of sharing our opinions online actually affects the world around us?
I guess that is three questions. It's getting late. I'm taking my unsolicited opinions to bed now.
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