To commemorate our two year anniversary, I want to take a minute to remember my favorite moments from the past two years (since I didn't do it last year, I'll include both years, but hopefully I can keep up for the next years...)
These are in no particular order, other than the order that they come to mind.
Corbin's birth, of course.
It seems like most of this second year has revolved around Corbin and being parents. That's probably because we had Corbin just after our first anniversary, which means we really have spent our whole second year of marriage learning how to be mom and dad.
The first year of marriage was learning to be husband and wife. However, nothing throws a wrench in those roles like adding a baby to the mix. Then again, I was pregnant most of our first year of marriage, so I'm not sure I can really say that year was "normal" either.
I remember a conversation Dustin and I had early on in my pregnancy. I was recalling how in my single years I always heard about the "wait one year rule." I don't know if it is just in Mormon culture, but there seems to be this unwritten "rule" or recommendation that couples wait a year to get pregnant. Someone told me once that it was a good idea because the first year of marriage is a lot of adjusting and one person even told me once that the first year was the hardest. Dustin and I said that our first year had seemed quite easy, and we really didn't feel like we had had to make that many adjustments. We wondered if it was our awesome personalities ;-) or the fact that we dated a good amount of time (also following the one year "rule"), but we were glad we had lucked out to have such a smooth ride that first year.
Oh wait, looking back I realize now that we were having that conversation probably in March, which puts us at 6 months of marriage. I'm thinking now that we were probably still in the honeymoon phase. Besides that, we were two working DINKS (dual income no kids). We both had jobs we liked that we chose, we got to spend a lot of time together doing pretty much whatever we wanted, and we ate out...a lot. It's like my friends Summer and Joel call it--married without kids is "when we were single." This isn't to say that our marriage has been jeopardized since having a baby, but merely an observation that even if we had waited the "suggested" one year, we still might not have faced these adjustments--because it was the baby and the total changing of our roles and responsibilities which has tested our relationship the most.
So September 2011 to March 2012, pretty blissful.
Enter pregnancy...I don't necessarily remember a lot of arguments or "adjusting" while I was pregnant. I think it's because I felt so yucky in the first part that pretty much anything was considered acceptable behavior. Dustin was pretty good about catering to my every whim. And since we were both still working, we just ate out a lot still...lots and lots of Cafe Rio.
The reason I mention the eating out is because it's the most recent big change we've made. As we've entered our grown-up married life, we've lost one income but added more expenses. Weird how that works... Looking over our budget, it became clear to me that I'm going to have to adopt some domestic goddess skills that I've avoided for almost thirty years. We've cut out most eating out (I think we've only gone out once or twice in the last two months), and I now cook at home fairly regularly, using the groceries I bought with couponing and sale watching.
I really did have it made that first year of marriage. Dustin did almost all of the cooking, and especially when I was pregnant, he probably did all of it. He's a better cook, but I'm learning and improving now that he has given me the space to do so. It isn't that he expects me to be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen, but I'm just discovering that I desire to be at home with Corbin. I do appreciate that Dustin supports my dancing, and I am still able to teach one class a day, and even will be doing some of my own dancing starting this week. But I had a real desire over the summer to be at home more and have time to be the kind of mom I feel Corbin deserves. So I quit studio teaching in the evenings and have really enjoyed being at home with my family every night this semester.
Ok, this was supposed to be about highlights from the last two years and it's turning into lessons. Back to the point...
Our house has definitely consumed a lot of our second year of marriage. We started renovating in February and are still in the middle of it. The house gets more liveable each day, but I can't wait to have a kitchen sink--seriously, we have everything but the kitchen sink...
We got our dryer installed today, so I think I've line dried our clothes for the last time (barring an issue with our dryer at some future point--knock on wood). The first time I hung the clothes out on the line, Dustin was out working in the yard, and I actually wore an apron (to have the clothespins in the pockets). Corbin was napping in the house. I felt like June Cleaver, and I loved it. Of course, it only took a couple weeks for the rose-colored glasses to get foggy in the heat of summer and the novelty wore off.
Then the power went out and we had to stay with Dustin's brother for about a month. I was grateful to them, but that setback was a real challenge for our marriage. We learned a lot about communication, and it was the springboard for me to learn how to sleep train and budget--so I guess in hindsight it can now be numbered among our blessings.
Those are the big things--house and baby. But there were lots of other small things that have made these two years special...
Trip to California with my parents last summer.
Hawaii for Spring Break this year.
Family reunions on both sides including my parents' 50th wedding anniversary and Corbin's first Lagoon trip.
My parents moving six hours closer to us so we can have birthdays and holidays and even long weekends together again.
Making some great friends in our first ward and starting in a new ward this year.
And some personal accomplishments for both of us...
Dustin has sold several pieces of furniture that he refinished and is starting to build custom pieces.
He built us a beautiful custom bed as well as all the amazing work he's done on our house.
I went on my first tour with St. George Dance Company to perform in Salt Lake.
I enjoyed a part-time position at Dixie State College for one semester where I had an office and taught several classes a week.
I'm sure there are things I've forgotten, but I hope this gets the point across that I'm really happy I married Dustin, and I understand more each day the advice my dad gave me when we got engaged. He said that most of life feels like "cabin fever" or "island fever" so you want to make sure the person you marry is someone that you have fun with even when you are otherwise "stuck" in one place. Dustin and I have never lived in more than 800 square feet, and yet, I love sharing it with him. Happy 2nd Anniversary!
Monday, September 9, 2013
Monday, August 12, 2013
Happy 10 Months!
Wow! I can't believe it's already been ten months since Corbin joined our family! With all the changes going on in our lives (moving in and out of our house as we renovate, adjusting to balancing work and home, as well as all the normal parenting life changes), I feel like my journaling and blogging have fallen to the wayside. I am a little sad tonight to think of all the experiences, memories, milestones, and lessons learned that haven't been recorded and may be lost somewhere in my mind until maybe the Resurrection when I can have a perfect remembrance restored to me.
So I decided I better get some things in writing to celebrate Corbin's 10 month birthday tomorrow...
New Tricks
In the last month or two, Corbin has learned to clap. He loves to clap and he'll even yell a sort of "Yay" while he claps. Sometimes while he plays I'll turn on "So You Think You Can Dance" to entertain me while I keep him from pulling too many books off the shelves, or yanking appliances down onto him by their cords, etc. etc. Whenever he hears the studio audience applause, he stops what he's doing and claps and yells "yay" with them.
We started to teach him sign language. Whenever I say "more" and show him the sign, he responds by clapping. I decided that is close enough so I always give him more after he claps. The sign he actually seems to understand though is "please." I was so impressed with this. One night he was playing with a little bottle and Dustin took it from him, which made him start to fuss. Dustin said, "No, we don't throw tantrums to get what we want." I thought, He's a little young to be trying to reason with him, hon. But sure enough, Dustin showed him the "please" sign and then Corbin stopped fussing and did it back to him. I was amazed! We are still working on "Thank you".
Corbin continues to pull himself up on anything he can get his hands on, and he loves doing the finger walk. Fortunately for me, he's the perfect height to where I don't really have to bend over to help him walk that way. In just the last month, he started to push from a squat to a stand all by himself, so we figure it won't be long till he's walking. In the meantime, his crawl has gotten faster and faster. Today, he crawled upstream in the splash pad. He doesn't put his knees down anymore which I think helps him go faster. For a while, he had a tripod crawl with only the left knee down, but now he usually keeps both up and does sort of a bear crawl.
Best trick is of course the one that has been all-consuming for me the last week or so--SLEEPING! Definitely want to remember some of the things I've learned so I can hopefully have a smoother time with baby #2 (Not making any announcements with that).
Favorites
Corbin doesn't really have a lovey or a stuffed animal or anything he seems to cling to--something I tried to introduce for sleep training, but he seems to prefer to do things by himself. He was a binky baby for a while but even that has lost its luster over the last couple months. I don't mind because I figure it saves me the battle of weaning him from it when he's older. Although, I wonder if it will be useful when I start weaning him from nursing. We shall see...
He has always loved to have blankets or sheets or clothes, or any material really, flowing over his face. It's always been a way to make him laugh. But just this weekend, on our drive home from Salt Lake, he started to play peek-a-boo himself. He pulled the blanket up over his face and then pulled it down to smile at me, and I'd say "peek-a-boo" so he did it over and over.
Another game he started playing on the trip was a little echo game. He'd make a sound like a squeak or a moan or a squawk or a honk and when I would repeat it, he'd laugh and laugh. Dustin taught him months ago how to make the "ba ba ba" sound by hitting your mouth while you "ah"--he loves it so now he does it to calm himself down when he's bored or fussy in the car, and also he tries to do it to me when I hold him.
Here's a couple cute videos and photos I don't think I've shared yet...
First Red Vine. Dad had been waiting what he thought was FOREVER to let him try a Red Vine. I think I gave in at 6 months, and yes, Corbin loved it.
Wagon ride at Grandma Bonnie's with cousin Eben.
Love the toys at Grandma's house
Strawberry yogurt is definitely a favorite food
Eating big kid food with mom.
So I decided I better get some things in writing to celebrate Corbin's 10 month birthday tomorrow...
New Tricks
In the last month or two, Corbin has learned to clap. He loves to clap and he'll even yell a sort of "Yay" while he claps. Sometimes while he plays I'll turn on "So You Think You Can Dance" to entertain me while I keep him from pulling too many books off the shelves, or yanking appliances down onto him by their cords, etc. etc. Whenever he hears the studio audience applause, he stops what he's doing and claps and yells "yay" with them.
We started to teach him sign language. Whenever I say "more" and show him the sign, he responds by clapping. I decided that is close enough so I always give him more after he claps. The sign he actually seems to understand though is "please." I was so impressed with this. One night he was playing with a little bottle and Dustin took it from him, which made him start to fuss. Dustin said, "No, we don't throw tantrums to get what we want." I thought, He's a little young to be trying to reason with him, hon. But sure enough, Dustin showed him the "please" sign and then Corbin stopped fussing and did it back to him. I was amazed! We are still working on "Thank you".
Corbin continues to pull himself up on anything he can get his hands on, and he loves doing the finger walk. Fortunately for me, he's the perfect height to where I don't really have to bend over to help him walk that way. In just the last month, he started to push from a squat to a stand all by himself, so we figure it won't be long till he's walking. In the meantime, his crawl has gotten faster and faster. Today, he crawled upstream in the splash pad. He doesn't put his knees down anymore which I think helps him go faster. For a while, he had a tripod crawl with only the left knee down, but now he usually keeps both up and does sort of a bear crawl.
Best trick is of course the one that has been all-consuming for me the last week or so--SLEEPING! Definitely want to remember some of the things I've learned so I can hopefully have a smoother time with baby #2 (Not making any announcements with that).
Favorites
Corbin doesn't really have a lovey or a stuffed animal or anything he seems to cling to--something I tried to introduce for sleep training, but he seems to prefer to do things by himself. He was a binky baby for a while but even that has lost its luster over the last couple months. I don't mind because I figure it saves me the battle of weaning him from it when he's older. Although, I wonder if it will be useful when I start weaning him from nursing. We shall see...
He has always loved to have blankets or sheets or clothes, or any material really, flowing over his face. It's always been a way to make him laugh. But just this weekend, on our drive home from Salt Lake, he started to play peek-a-boo himself. He pulled the blanket up over his face and then pulled it down to smile at me, and I'd say "peek-a-boo" so he did it over and over.
Another game he started playing on the trip was a little echo game. He'd make a sound like a squeak or a moan or a squawk or a honk and when I would repeat it, he'd laugh and laugh. Dustin taught him months ago how to make the "ba ba ba" sound by hitting your mouth while you "ah"--he loves it so now he does it to calm himself down when he's bored or fussy in the car, and also he tries to do it to me when I hold him.
Here's a couple cute videos and photos I don't think I've shared yet...
Here's an old video of a funny discovery we made about Corbin's enthusiasm for sounds. He still loves to drum on any hard surface he can reach. We also turn on music in the mornings and he starts bouncing as soon as he hears any kind of rhythm.
Love Grandpa Tom and love the camera
First camping trip with mom and dad. Loved the tent.
Looking back at some old photos and videos makes me realize how truly amazing children are. Every once in a while I look at Corbin and wonder at how each day he grows and learns and becomes this little person that was not in the world and now suddenly is and will be. My world is forever changed because of him, and who knows what else in the world might be different for his being in it. What an amazing gift Heavenly Father has given me to be Corbin's mommy.
Love you baby boy! Happy 10 months!
Sleeping Update
Just had to record the great news. One day before Corbin's 10 month birthday he learned to go to sleep. I took him in for a nap this morning, he fussed a little when the lights went out because he knew what was coming. But as soon as I laid him in his bed, he rolled right onto his side and began his little soothing sounds. We're two for two this afternoon on not fighting sleep, and hoping the trend keeps up for bedtime tonight.
We just got back from Salt Lake and I was so worried that the trip would mess up his sleep training. My two sweet girlfriends watched him while I performed and had to put him down, which means he had to do a little crying it out. I could tell that had worried him a little when I tried to put him down last night. He wouldn't let me leave the room, but would try to sleep as long as my hand was on his back. He was even swinging his arm back occasionally to make sure my arm was still there with my hand. I knew he needed to feel safe since he'd slept somewhere new as well as having someone new put him to bed for the last three nights, so I wasn't bothered by it.
Anyway, this morning and this afternoon he didn't need me to stay in the room, or keep my hand on his back. He's doing great and I'm so proud of him!
We just got back from Salt Lake and I was so worried that the trip would mess up his sleep training. My two sweet girlfriends watched him while I performed and had to put him down, which means he had to do a little crying it out. I could tell that had worried him a little when I tried to put him down last night. He wouldn't let me leave the room, but would try to sleep as long as my hand was on his back. He was even swinging his arm back occasionally to make sure my arm was still there with my hand. I knew he needed to feel safe since he'd slept somewhere new as well as having someone new put him to bed for the last three nights, so I wasn't bothered by it.
Anyway, this morning and this afternoon he didn't need me to stay in the room, or keep my hand on his back. He's doing great and I'm so proud of him!
Monday, August 5, 2013
Our Sleep Training Journey
Yes, I am writing on my blog again, a sign that Corbin is finally taking a nap that I don't need to take with him. This is amazing, of course, and yet, I have this funny sadness about it.
Corbin has been an all-night snacker for the last almost ten months. (I can't believe he is almost ten months!) I used to say, Corbin is a "bad sleeper" until I read a sleep training book which helped me see that most of his issues were results of things I had done. I beat myself up about that for a day or two until I realized that I did what worked for the time, and now it's not working anymore. This isn't a post about poor Jennie who didn't get any sleep, or what not to do, but just some thoughts I'm having as Corbin and I enter a new phase, one that hopefully gives Dustin and me some much-needed time together again. Not to mention will make me a happier, more patient wife and mother.
For those interested in sleep-training thoughts, I'll share this. I'm reading a book called "The Child Whisperer Solves All Your Problems." As I've studied sleep training methods, I've come to the conclusion that you should do whichever method you think you can be consistent in. In fact, one study of five different methods found that they all work equally well, provided that the parents are consistent. The gist of Child Whisperer's "pick-up/put-down" method is that you let your baby cry it out, but you stay right there with him. Each time he stands up, you lay him back down. And you keep laying him back down until he gives up and "self-soothes" to sleep.
Corbin's been pretty textbook so far. Laura Hogg (the author) says not to be surprised if it takes 100 put-downs, and Corbin took at least that. Dustin thinks it was two hours of crying, but he was just listening from the hallway. I was in there talking to Corbin and laying him down and came out and thought it had only been an hour.
But the results have amazed me. Already on day 2, when I turned off the lights for nap-time, Corbin started fussing a little. He knew what was coming, but he took his lay-down like a champ, rolled over and began to self-soothe.
This is what surprised me. Even though I was so excited that he wasn't going to fight me, I had this sad feeling that my baby felt defeated or abandoned. I'd never actually abandoned him, which is why I liked the method better than full Cry-it-out. But for some reason, I felt better laying him down over and over and hearing his cries of protest than hearing those sad little sounds of defeat.
I know he feels better--today was the first day he woke up happy since he was a little tiny baby. And I know I feel better--today was the first day I didn't need to nap myself when I put him down. I've had time to blog, fold laundry, check Facebook, and eat my own lunch hands-free :-) I feel like I'm establishing some control and order in my house again. And yet, I notice that I want to go cuddle him so badly.
So this is what I've discovered...I think I secretly like nursing my baby to sleep. I like holding my sleeping baby in my arms. I like snuggling him in my bed. It makes my sleep crappy. It strains my relationship with my husband. It even sometimes strains my relationship with my baby. I feel more like a giant binky than a guide and support that can capably care for his physical and emotional needs. And yet, as I strive to correct those issues, I notice this sadness that my baby is growing up. I think that's part of what makes those self-soothing noises he makes hard to hear.
So this is what "Baby Hungry" feels like...
Funny thing is, I was just telling my sisters-in-law that I don't think I'll ever feel baby hungry. People have told me before that once my baby isn't so baby I would feel it and I didn't believe them. Corbin seemed like more than I could handle sometimes. I couldn't imagine doing it all over again. Even though I knew deep down I would. I just wasn't sure I'd ever really WANT to do it again :-)
In this journey, I've come to a second conclusion. I read about sleep training options while I was pregnant and right after Corbin was born. But I had decided to feed on demand and see how it goes. I guess part of my homebirth mentality was carried through--let nature take its course, let the baby's natural rhythms determine his schedule, etc. I do think that Corbin established a schedule and we got some sort of routine established, but it was pretty casual and never something that I really involved Dustin in. So when I started teaching again a couple nights a week, and then we moved, and then he got sick, and then he was teething, and then we moved again, and then his room was too hot without AC, and then we moved again, and then we traveled...all this time I kept saying, when things get back to normal, we will sleep train.
And here we are, six months of Corbin's life have passed in this "not normal" state. And that's when it hit me, this is life. We were two days from being back in our own house, with AC. But we were still at Dustin's brothers where I didn't feel it was very thoughtful to start letting my baby cry for hours in the night. And I went to put him down for a nap and just started pick-up/put-down. I thought, we are starting today. And if it messes up his sleep when we get to our new house, we will do pick-up/put-down again. And if it messes up his sleep when we go to Salt Lake this weekend, we will do pick-up/put-down again. Because life is never just stay at home all day, all week, have the perfect temperature, have a tummy that feels great, have no teeth coming in, etc. etc. And when Corbin is a grown-up, he needs to be able to go to sleep in less than ideal conditions.
So once I realized sleep is a life skill, I felt ready to teach it to Corbin. And once I started pick-up/put-down, I knew I had to see it through. It's actually been a good method for me. I've been pleased with the quick results and I feel like it's something I have the stamina and patience for. Funny how I can feel patient for hours doing our dance of pick-up/put-down, but I was losing it to nurse him back to sleep for five minutes every two hours. It all has to do with feeling in control, and feeling like I am teaching him, rather than perpetuating a bad habit which I didn't see an end to in the near future.
That's probably way more thoughts than I ever thought I'd have about sleep training. To summarize, my advice to new moms. Choose something that you think you can stick to--even when you are dead tired, even when you are traveling, even when you are moving, and so on and so forth.
Here's a little video I just found in my archives. I used to think the self-soothing sounds were cute enough to film, apparently :-)
Corbin has been an all-night snacker for the last almost ten months. (I can't believe he is almost ten months!) I used to say, Corbin is a "bad sleeper" until I read a sleep training book which helped me see that most of his issues were results of things I had done. I beat myself up about that for a day or two until I realized that I did what worked for the time, and now it's not working anymore. This isn't a post about poor Jennie who didn't get any sleep, or what not to do, but just some thoughts I'm having as Corbin and I enter a new phase, one that hopefully gives Dustin and me some much-needed time together again. Not to mention will make me a happier, more patient wife and mother.
For those interested in sleep-training thoughts, I'll share this. I'm reading a book called "The Child Whisperer Solves All Your Problems." As I've studied sleep training methods, I've come to the conclusion that you should do whichever method you think you can be consistent in. In fact, one study of five different methods found that they all work equally well, provided that the parents are consistent. The gist of Child Whisperer's "pick-up/put-down" method is that you let your baby cry it out, but you stay right there with him. Each time he stands up, you lay him back down. And you keep laying him back down until he gives up and "self-soothes" to sleep.
Corbin's been pretty textbook so far. Laura Hogg (the author) says not to be surprised if it takes 100 put-downs, and Corbin took at least that. Dustin thinks it was two hours of crying, but he was just listening from the hallway. I was in there talking to Corbin and laying him down and came out and thought it had only been an hour.
But the results have amazed me. Already on day 2, when I turned off the lights for nap-time, Corbin started fussing a little. He knew what was coming, but he took his lay-down like a champ, rolled over and began to self-soothe.
This is what surprised me. Even though I was so excited that he wasn't going to fight me, I had this sad feeling that my baby felt defeated or abandoned. I'd never actually abandoned him, which is why I liked the method better than full Cry-it-out. But for some reason, I felt better laying him down over and over and hearing his cries of protest than hearing those sad little sounds of defeat.
I know he feels better--today was the first day he woke up happy since he was a little tiny baby. And I know I feel better--today was the first day I didn't need to nap myself when I put him down. I've had time to blog, fold laundry, check Facebook, and eat my own lunch hands-free :-) I feel like I'm establishing some control and order in my house again. And yet, I notice that I want to go cuddle him so badly.
So this is what I've discovered...I think I secretly like nursing my baby to sleep. I like holding my sleeping baby in my arms. I like snuggling him in my bed. It makes my sleep crappy. It strains my relationship with my husband. It even sometimes strains my relationship with my baby. I feel more like a giant binky than a guide and support that can capably care for his physical and emotional needs. And yet, as I strive to correct those issues, I notice this sadness that my baby is growing up. I think that's part of what makes those self-soothing noises he makes hard to hear.
So this is what "Baby Hungry" feels like...
Funny thing is, I was just telling my sisters-in-law that I don't think I'll ever feel baby hungry. People have told me before that once my baby isn't so baby I would feel it and I didn't believe them. Corbin seemed like more than I could handle sometimes. I couldn't imagine doing it all over again. Even though I knew deep down I would. I just wasn't sure I'd ever really WANT to do it again :-)
In this journey, I've come to a second conclusion. I read about sleep training options while I was pregnant and right after Corbin was born. But I had decided to feed on demand and see how it goes. I guess part of my homebirth mentality was carried through--let nature take its course, let the baby's natural rhythms determine his schedule, etc. I do think that Corbin established a schedule and we got some sort of routine established, but it was pretty casual and never something that I really involved Dustin in. So when I started teaching again a couple nights a week, and then we moved, and then he got sick, and then he was teething, and then we moved again, and then his room was too hot without AC, and then we moved again, and then we traveled...all this time I kept saying, when things get back to normal, we will sleep train.
And here we are, six months of Corbin's life have passed in this "not normal" state. And that's when it hit me, this is life. We were two days from being back in our own house, with AC. But we were still at Dustin's brothers where I didn't feel it was very thoughtful to start letting my baby cry for hours in the night. And I went to put him down for a nap and just started pick-up/put-down. I thought, we are starting today. And if it messes up his sleep when we get to our new house, we will do pick-up/put-down again. And if it messes up his sleep when we go to Salt Lake this weekend, we will do pick-up/put-down again. Because life is never just stay at home all day, all week, have the perfect temperature, have a tummy that feels great, have no teeth coming in, etc. etc. And when Corbin is a grown-up, he needs to be able to go to sleep in less than ideal conditions.
So once I realized sleep is a life skill, I felt ready to teach it to Corbin. And once I started pick-up/put-down, I knew I had to see it through. It's actually been a good method for me. I've been pleased with the quick results and I feel like it's something I have the stamina and patience for. Funny how I can feel patient for hours doing our dance of pick-up/put-down, but I was losing it to nurse him back to sleep for five minutes every two hours. It all has to do with feeling in control, and feeling like I am teaching him, rather than perpetuating a bad habit which I didn't see an end to in the near future.
That's probably way more thoughts than I ever thought I'd have about sleep training. To summarize, my advice to new moms. Choose something that you think you can stick to--even when you are dead tired, even when you are traveling, even when you are moving, and so on and so forth.
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Inch Worm Crawl
We've been so busy trying to renovate our house and there is so much to update, including the progress on the house. But I didn't want to miss out on sharing Corbin's latest achievement. His inch-worm crawl looks like he's doing the worm. I think he'll be a great break dancer!
Check him out!
Check him out!
Monday, January 14, 2013
Glad to be Enjoying My Here and Now
I held Corbin while he napped last night for a while, and then cuddled him this morning so he and I could both get a couple more hours of sleep. And then I checked in on my SIL and her husband. I asked if they felt like zombies yet. He said their little girl is sleeping all day and awake all night and he thinks he might have gotten 2-3 hours of sleep last night. The memories suddenly flooded my mind of how awful that adjustment is to make. I now feel very glad to be in my here and now with my 3 month old boy that has a little bit of a schedule and sleeps sometimes 4-5 hours at a time at night. Even though last night was an up every two hours kind of night, it has somehow become easier to handle now. I guess I remember now why I was so anxious to get back to "normal" or find some kind of new normal. I'll just keep enjoying my here and now and not look back :-)
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Enjoying the Here and Now
It seems like with every milestone in my life, I look back and wish I would have enjoyed more the time getting there. When I got married, I wished I would have enjoyed dating my husband more. When I had Corbin, I wished I would have enjoyed newlywed life more. I guess I'm just one to look forward to "the next big thing" but I think sometimes it robs me of the beauty of here and now.
I realized this weakness, if it is a weakness, again this week. My sister-in-law had her first baby yesterday, and I noticed that while she was in labor, I kept thinking how jealous I was that in the very near future she was going to have her brand new baby placed on her chest. It made me realize how beautiful that experience was when Corbin was first placed on my chest. The thing is, I was so exhausted in that moment, it was hard to enjoy it then. But that moment has become more special in my mind and heart as I've come to better know and love my baby boy.
My SIL came home from the hospital last night. Since we rent an apartment attached to their house, I'm somewhat aware of what's going on with them so I saw how they seemed to just stay quietly in their house all day today, enjoying their new baby and getting much needed rest I would imagine. I was taken back to those first days and weeks of Corbin's life and wished I could take back all the stress and panic I felt about wanting to have the house clean, or wishing I could just feel good enough to get back to "normal" life. My older sister would tell me to just enjoy having only one baby because it would be the only time in my life when I could have only one tiny baby to consume my whole existence. It's not that I wish to go back to Corbin's newborn days because honestly, I have loved each new phase that he has entered so far. But seeing my SIL with her new tiny baby made me realize again how quickly time passes, how quickly babies grow up, and how unimportant it is to me now to know that my laundry and dishes were done those first weeks of Corbin's life. I only now realize what my sister meant that this was the only time I'd have one baby that I can devote all my time to, and I'm wishing I hadn't been in such a rush to figure out how to "get things done" while he slept, and just let myself hold his little snuggly body during those naps.
Tomorrow he'll be three months old. He started the year out rolling from his back to his stomach (although he hasn't done it since). At Christmas he weighed 16 pounds and he's already wearing some 6 and even 9 month clothes. I love how responsive he is now--he loves to smile back at people when they smile at him, and he squeals when I kiss his cheeks. I can't wait till he gives me a real laugh. He's totally fascinated with his hands now and loves to try to put his whole fist in his mouth, sometimes gagging himself in his efforts.
I never realized what a special gift having a child would be and I'm so grateful Heavenly Father let me be Corbin's mommy!
I realized this weakness, if it is a weakness, again this week. My sister-in-law had her first baby yesterday, and I noticed that while she was in labor, I kept thinking how jealous I was that in the very near future she was going to have her brand new baby placed on her chest. It made me realize how beautiful that experience was when Corbin was first placed on my chest. The thing is, I was so exhausted in that moment, it was hard to enjoy it then. But that moment has become more special in my mind and heart as I've come to better know and love my baby boy.
My SIL came home from the hospital last night. Since we rent an apartment attached to their house, I'm somewhat aware of what's going on with them so I saw how they seemed to just stay quietly in their house all day today, enjoying their new baby and getting much needed rest I would imagine. I was taken back to those first days and weeks of Corbin's life and wished I could take back all the stress and panic I felt about wanting to have the house clean, or wishing I could just feel good enough to get back to "normal" life. My older sister would tell me to just enjoy having only one baby because it would be the only time in my life when I could have only one tiny baby to consume my whole existence. It's not that I wish to go back to Corbin's newborn days because honestly, I have loved each new phase that he has entered so far. But seeing my SIL with her new tiny baby made me realize again how quickly time passes, how quickly babies grow up, and how unimportant it is to me now to know that my laundry and dishes were done those first weeks of Corbin's life. I only now realize what my sister meant that this was the only time I'd have one baby that I can devote all my time to, and I'm wishing I hadn't been in such a rush to figure out how to "get things done" while he slept, and just let myself hold his little snuggly body during those naps.
Tomorrow he'll be three months old. He started the year out rolling from his back to his stomach (although he hasn't done it since). At Christmas he weighed 16 pounds and he's already wearing some 6 and even 9 month clothes. I love how responsive he is now--he loves to smile back at people when they smile at him, and he squeals when I kiss his cheeks. I can't wait till he gives me a real laugh. He's totally fascinated with his hands now and loves to try to put his whole fist in his mouth, sometimes gagging himself in his efforts.
I never realized what a special gift having a child would be and I'm so grateful Heavenly Father let me be Corbin's mommy!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)